Contentment.

This word is actually something that is frequently on my mind. Am I content with where I’m at? How can I get there? If and when I do, how can I stay there?

We all come from different stories and backgrounds. Every single experience we have ever had (whether good / bad / neutral) has become a filter on our lens of this life and world we’re living in. Some feel they have more to be joyful and thankful about, whereas others feel they have more to grieve about. Can we ever find a balance?

Without going too deep, I wouldn’t say I had the easiest growing up. My mental and emotional health have been through quite some roller coasters. I lost my mom to cancer in 2014. I got diagnosed with RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) in 2018 which left me almost completely physically crippled for a little over a month. I type these things knowing very well that others have had it harder than I have. I am not here to complain, nor is my point to compare experiences. My point is to share how some of my specific experiences have shaped my outlook on life.

For pretty much all my life, I’ll say that it’s always been a struggle to not let my emotions take over my life; a struggle of making sure what I know in my head and what I feel in my heart are balanced. Sometimes I’m good at compartmentalizing. Other times I’m an absolute wreck.

I wouldn’t say I have the answer but let me tell you about how working in EMS (emergency medical services) has helped to shift my perspective. Being an EMT (emergency medical technician) for a 911 ambulance company is a multi-faceted job. It’s never black and white like they teach it in school. (I should know since I’m an EMT skills instructor as well.) Here’s one of the biggest lessons I learned during my first year working in the field. You can do your skills 100% perfectly, but the outcome can still be bad and you could still lose a patient. During those times, this job is very humbling. Then there are other times when you can do your skills 100% perfectly, and you actually make a difference and even save a life. Those times are extremely rewarding. And those are the moments I signed up for. I guess you can experience this in the medical field in general, but having that balance of this job being both humbling and rewarding helps me to appreciate what I have more and to complain about my life less.

Contentment is a state of acceptance - that even though I may not be where I want to be situationally, relationally, mentally, emotionally, physically in life (regardless of the things I’ve gone through or am going through), I AM OKAY WITH THAT. It’s subjective - meaning you are your own judge. I do strongly believe that if you put in the grueling hard work to navigate and process through your thoughts and feelings instead of shutting them out like so many of us are used to doing, you are taking the first of many baby steps towards being able to start healing (whatever it is you need healing from…). Let your mind rationally dictate your heart. Let there be a balance of what you’re thinking vs what you’re feeling and how you’re living out your life because of it. Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. Progress looks different for every individual.

So let me ask you.. Are you content with where you’re at (situationally / relationally / mentally / emotionally / physically / professionally)? If your answer is no (like mine is), let me encourage you to make a wish - a realistic but worthy wish. Be intentional with that wish. Work hard towards that wish. Understand that it will require patience and grit. And most importantly, understand that it is absolutely okay to be a work in progress.